Parenting is challenging, rewarding,
frustrating, and exciting. 

It stretches the imagination, tests problem-solving skills,
and reveals an all-encompassing love for this being
that you have been charged to care for and raise. 

It is also a mirror,
a reflection of both the best and worst parts of yourself. 

Yet, it may be the single greatest legacy you leave.  

I always knew I wanted to be a parent, and I was entrusted with three sons. I had ideals and aspirations for my parenting, yet fell short many times.  I learned so much about myself in the process.  Many times I apologized for raising my voice out of frustration, not listening when I should have, and jumping to conclusions or misinterpreting my children’s intentions.

No one is a perfect parent,
but we can strive to do our best,
apologizing when necessary
and learning from our mistakes. 

I expect this from my children, and I try to lead by example.

As of this writing, one of our sons is at the university studying chemistry with medical school aspirations, one is a senior in high school taking community college classes intending to pursue a business degree, and one is a teenager just beginning high school.   A number of people have asked about our parenting – this happened enough times I decided to share in this forum.   

We are a faith-based family. We believe in a loving God who created each of us with unique gifts and talents.  We believe in loving others deeply and without prejudice.  We believe in treating others with kindness and respect, regardless of circumstances.  We believe in trying to help others and improve the world around us.   We also believe in personal responsibility and the incredible value of freedom.   Integrity, honesty, respect, kindness, and fairness are highly valued in our family and are the cornerstones of our parenting.

As such, several themes run through our family and through our parenting in all the years of raising these young men.  The phrases may be said differently to fit the age of the child, but the meaning is always the same.  Over time, they learn what is expected.  Though we raised sons, these principles would have been the same had we raised daughters.

Our parenting (and educating) strives to instill these principles:  

    • Let the two greatest commandments become part of who you are and what you do.
    • Regardless of circumstance, treat everyone with kindness and respect.
    • Do what is right even when no one else is looking ~ this reflects integrity and builds trust which are the foundations of your reputation.
    • Be responsible and clean up after yourself.  No one else should have to pick up or clean up after you.  Leave a place as good or better than you found it.
    • Practice self-control – self-control over your time, your speech, and your behaviors.  You can’t bring back a single moment wasted or take back a careless or malicious word or action.
    • Maintain appropriate social and emotional boundaries.  This will contribute to healthy relationships.
    • Do your best in all your endeavors and nurture a love of learning.   One is never too old to learn new things or have new experiences.
    • Find your purpose and passion in life, then find a path for making a living doing that.  Life is too short and valuable to squander in misery. 
    • Use your time wisely to lead a balanced life with meaningful work, personal self-improvement, time with family and friends, and physical activities.  
    • Spend intentionally, save abundantly, give generously.  Live within your means regardless of your income.  Living without debt gives you peace of mind and has unlimited positive consequences. 
    • Demand nothing from others; be grateful for everything.  You are not entitled to anything someone else has.
    • Do what you can to help those around you, share an encouraging word, and contribute to bettering our community and our world. 

In the links below we describe how we carried out instilling these values and principles in each stage of our dear children’s growing up years.  I hope you find something helpful. 

Parenting with Purpose: Exposure & Interaction (ages 1-4)

Parenting with Purpose: Exploration & Fun (ages 5-9) 

Parenting with Purpose: Honing Character & Interests (ages 10-12)

Parenting with Purpose: Spreading Wings (ages 13-15)

Parenting with Purpose: Taking Flight (ages 16-17)

Parenting with Purpose: Flying Into Adulthood (ages 18+)

Parenting Challenging Topics

You might also be interested in the intentional incremental process we used
to train our children to be financially responsible,
a process praised by bankers, millionaires, and financial gurus: 

Teaching Financial Responsibility

May God grant each and every parent
the patience and wisdom needed 
to raise these dear children.